Friendship

Hello again!

This week has been a bit mental for me and I've been having a lot of plans with my friends as they are all back from university. But just being around them all makes me realise how lucky I am.

 I may not have that many friends and I'm pretty sure I can count how many true friends I have on my hands. The fact is that we should all treasure the moments we have with them.  

  With my friends being away I don't get to see them as much as I would like to. So when we finally see eachother it's wonderful. We are completely crazy and act like a bunch of idiots but it's like I saw them all the day before. 

  So I don't forget these memories I have decided not only to take photos and snapchat them or tweet them but also to get them all developed. 

  I've bought a new scrapbook dedicated to my crazy, awkward teenage phase. I'm sure when I'm older I will not understand why I wore that top and what face I was trying to pull but it doesn't matter.

  For me scrapbooking is a way to keep all those memories in one place and make sure I never forget them. It also makes me treasure every memory and photo i do have. 

  Treasure every moment you get with the special people in your life. The ones who you can be yourself around, look like crap and act like a complete maniac around because these people are the ones who you can go to with any problem and with a wave of their magic wands suddenly make everything seem better. To anyone reading this who is my friend, this is for you, I love you all so much.

Love,

Phoebe Eve

The Hideaway

So currently I am writing this post on my iphone in the middle of a cove and right beside a natural waterfall. I'm in Cornwall on holiday and had the inspiration to post.

We came here at the start of our holiday when it was raining and a bit miserable but it was still beautiful. It's now our last day and we have come back now the suns out!

I'll add some pictures to this post because it's so beautiful.

This week away we've not had amazing weather but we've been on loads of walks and I've barley had signal except for when I am at our little hideaway.  It's been really nice because I think I've been able to switch off from everything else and be around my family and nature. I know that sounds rather cheesy but it's true.

I've just noticed that without being on social media much except for occasionally checking in with my bestfriends and posting some 'arty' pictures on Instagram. But by being away from it just for a little while I've felt free and my confidence has built. Maybe it's because I haven't been overwhelmed by lots of fitness things popping up telling me to loose weight and 'get in shape'.

For the first time in ages I'm actually confident to wear denim shorts and not feel uncomfortable or conscious of what people may think. Because now I really don't give a crap what anyone thinks as long as I am comfortable in my own skin.

Maybe if you've been feeling like you have to have that bikini body because certain media sources tell you and if you feel pressured to look a certain way then turn off your phone and your laptop and just get away for a few days. Go on walks listen to music and spend time with people you love and you may start to feel a little different.

Hope you're enjoying the summer,
Love,
Phoebe Eve

The View From Walking Down To The Cove

The View From The Natural Waterfall

Pamper Yourself

Hello Everyone!

Overall I think about going shopping and treating myself way more than I ever do. I just don't make time for it. Or put any time aside to pamper myself for the day. I just go about doing my routine.

 I work quite a lot and I just put my money into a savings account and rarely see the money I earn. However recently I had a complete hair disaster and eventually it went green!! 

 I was so upset and so glad I didn't have anything coming up which required me to look even mildly presentable. So obviously I had to get it sorted or I would risk looking like I was ready to audition for Wicked. I booked in at a local salon and was so excited to finally feel like myself again.

 It was the one day of the week I didn't have work so I got an early appointment mainly due to the excitement of feeling like myself again. After the appointment I felt like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex In the City the movie when she dyes her hair brown. I have never felt that confident before in my appearance, ever! So I decided with my day off to go to a local shopping centre and I came out with a few new things ready for my holiday. 

 The whole day was brilliant and I was on cloud nine! I realized that taking some time out to just do a few things like having your hair done or buying something new can change your outlook completely. I have felt like I belong in Sex In the City ever since and I can't express enough how much better it is than feeling like you belong on a broom with a crazy cat by your side. 

Thank you for reading my ramblings and just try and find some time for yourself this week!

Love,

Phoebe Eve

A Little Less Chipper.

Hello Again!

I have so far been awful at this whole blogging thing but at some point I will write a post a week and I will have a day where my posts go up and everything will be fabulous. But I haven't posted because I haven't really felt like myself.

 There is just something I want to discuss really. I know I don't have a crazy comments section or that many people reading due to my lack of posts and my lack of continuity. But either way this is where I like to put my feelings. I read Girl Online by Zoella in the week and it's made me realize how wonderful the blogging world can be. I understand that it is fictional, it just made me feel like I could perhaps post something a little less chipper than usual.

 Sometimes I am a complete and utter idiot. I do things and say things that I know are out of line and I know can perhaps push people away and anger them but I say or do them anyway.  I just don't understand why. I seem to do it particularly to those closest to me, pushing them away and being occasionally offensive in some ways. 

  The last thing I would want to do is loose these people or see them hurt by anyone, especially if I am causing the upset or hurt. Perhaps it is because I love these people so much that I know they can take it and still stick by me. But it is no excuse to treat a person like that. 

  Don't get me wrong I also love to show the ones I love how much I love them through little surprises and  maybe baking them something I know they enjoy. On the whole I am like that about ninety percent of the time. However this little stupid ten percent comes out and causes chaos. I just want to know that other people behave like this too sometimes. I am sure I won't have an answer as to why I do it but I just want to know I am not completely insane.

 Thank you for reading my random ramblings and please comment if you do something similar, I would appreciate it immensely. I will be back to my chipper self soon I promise.

Love,

Phoebe Eve

Handling Rejection

This past week I have found out that I am not going to be attending a drama school in September and will have to experience the audition process all over again come October time. It's not been the easiest news to digest but I have turned things around into a positive.

Here are a few tips I want to share on how to face rejection and turn it around so you can look positively onto the situation instead of being negative.

1) Have a day to get all your emotions out about what has happened

2) Plan out your next move and what work needs to be done so you can succeed. 

3) Make lists of what work needs to be done over the next coming weeks and be active with them.

4) Start the process again, whether it's a job interview, an audition, ucas application or maybe even blogging. It can be anything.

I just feel that life is too short to dwell on the bad, when in fact something amazing may be around the corner. Things to happen for a reason we just need to give it time to find out what that reason is. I know life can throw some crappy things at you and you do need time to deal with them, but just also let yourself turn it around.

Be Happy!

Love,

Phoebe Eve

The Wonders of Timehop

Hello to anyone that happens to be reading!

I was just scrolling through timehop, as you do and I was reminded of this blog that I had actually forgotten I had. I started this about two years ago when I was going through some changes in my life and was struggling with a few things. The main issue at the time was my anxiety.

Honestly, I had never experienced it before and it was a big shock to me when I experienced my first panic attack. Since then I have still had some up's and downs but to be honest I can, on the whole, control it now.

But when i was reading through my old posts i was reminded of how much I actually loved writing posts, even if no one was reading. It was just something for me where i could speak freely and get my feelings out somewhere. 

In the past two years I have finished school (happy dance) and have been trying to get into drama school so I can continue my dream of becoming an actor. I have had some really great experiences since I finished school and I am auditioning for drama schools all over again. But overall, I have learnt a lot and these things I would like to share with you. 

To motivate myself to write posts again I am going to set the task of writing a post a week, if you are reading this and would like me to write about something or answer a question please let me know and I would be happy to do so. I'll be back next Sunday!

Love,

Phoebe Eve 

New Year!

Hello, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a great new year! I wanted to chat about a few things in this post like my new year’s resolution, my memory jar (featured in my first ever post) and aims for the year ahead.

This year I have made a resolution and it is to do what makes me happy, weather that is changing my style, working out more at the gym, seeing more of the people I love. I just think that last year wasn’t as good as it could have been and in order to change that I am just going to do what makes me happy, regardless of what other people think. I’m not talking about crazy things; just simple things that I know will make me happier and get the most out of the year ahead. Being happy isn’t a hard thing to achieve, I have mentioned previously that surrounding yourself with good, honest people can really help. Also by reminding yourself of the little things in life can also bring your mood up. If you have a new year’s resolution then please feel free to leave it below!

 The memory jar I mentioned a long time back in March has been opened! I added to it every time something special happened that I didn’t want to forget and when I opened it I had so many memories. It was nice to relive them all and think back to different times in the year. However, I feel that my notes weren’t that detailed and this year I am going to change that. I am going to write down a good thing that happened every day. So even if it’s a really bad day, I can find the goodness within it, in order to achieve this I may need a bigger jar, haha!

  Finally just some goals for next year are to be more productive with my blog because whenever I sit down and make time to write one I do really enjoy it and find it rather therapeutic. I also want to keep up with chatty posts like this one but also keep some style posts in there too. My other goal is to just let go a bit more and not worry so much about silly things, I feel that if I let go and just have more fun I will enjoy life that little bit more.

If you enjoyed the post please comment below and also give me any requests for a post that you would like me to do! Love, Phoebe Eve <3

Cheeky Update!

Hello Everyone! I hope you are all getting excited about Christmas, I know I am. However, I do have a lot of things on at the moment, one of them being my first audition! Eeek! I am rather nervous but also very excited to show them what I’ve got and I hope they see that I am passionate about Drama and it’s all I want to do. Hopefully my crazy side won’t come over though!

  I just wanted to say I do have some Christmas blog ideas planned but at the moment I don’t have much time to create them all. But as soon as I have done the audition I will do some more posts! Also some cheeky look books are coming up which I am very excited to make. So I hope you are all having a wonderful time counting down to Christmas and I shall post as soon as I can. Love You, Phoebe Eve <3

A Turning Point

Recently I have been applying for drama schools and preparing myself for auditions, letting myself get stressed out about choosing my pieces in time.  Then one day I was on my way to town and sitting on the bus listening to music and I realised, I am going for it. That ‘dream’ I have had for years and the yearning to be on stage I am attempting to make a reality. For years I have wanted one thing. To do what I love and I am going for it. Go me! It’s scary, I am crapping myself at the idea of auditioning for the schools but I’m doing it.

  I am excited at the prospect of performing to the panels in the auditions, they decide my future. I could get in to one of the schools which would be insane, I am just so excited. This process may be crazy, scary and overwhelming but I will make the most out of it and push myself.  I may get stressed, I may get a bit teary but no matter what happens, I will try my absolute hardest to make it happen. My family and friends think I can do it and finally, I think I can too!

  I like keeping myself busy and I am currently writing a monologue about how women are objectified in society. I was struggling with ideas and then Lily Allen came onto the scene with her new song ‘Hard out Here’. It is amazing; she just says everything that needs to be said. Women are constantly made to look like sexual objects within the media and she just takes the mick out of the new videos out at the moment.  One of my favourite lines is “You should probably lose some weight
'Cause we can't see your bones”. Magazines plaster photos of skinny women who have the ‘perfect body’ and you know what? It’s a load of shit. So what if a woman isn’t a size six? We don’t need to be as long as I am happy with myself I don’t care what anyone else thinks.

 I am so inspired to start my monologue and speak some truth and start my auditions, I feel like my life is starting and you know what? I am so excited to see what it has in store! Please comment below telling me all about your goals or just something you’re excited about! Love Phoebe Eve <3

Autumn Beauty Must Haves

Hello my lovelies! I know I have been away for a very long time but I have been so busy with some new and exciting projects. Today’s post is very different as it is beauty based but I just hope you like it, comment below if you would like more of these!

Recently I have been crazy about my Naked Palette two, it’s full of natural shades and I have been experimenting with the darker tones recently. The shadows are really pigmented and are really long lasting; I do sometimes use the Maybelline colour tattoo in bad to the bronze underneath and blend it out with the brush provided in the palette. As you can see by the photo my favourite shades are suspect and snakebite. If you would like me to show my current autumn makeup, just comment below!

My two favourite lip colours of the moment are both deep colours, as it is autumn I have ditched the corals and pinks and switched them for deep reds. I recently purchased my first bourjois lipstick and I was really impressed, you can really build up the colour and it has a nice shine to it. The lasting finish lipstick in 107 is a classic for me, I wore it a lot last year and I love wearing it now.

 

I know it’s time to wear dark colours on the nails but I can’t help but love pastels the two colours I am obsessed with is the two above. Rimmel sixty second formula is brilliant and lasts for ages, but the bourjois one second formula is also very long lasting and has a great finish. I also like to use a bit of glitter polish on an accent nail and disco ball is the perfect choice.

A recent discovery of mine is the new Dove conditioners / masques and they really work, you don’t have to sit and wait for twenty minutes to see a difference it takes just a minute like a standard conditioner. I have tried out two of the masques and I found the colour radiance one works the best and gives a really nice shine to the hair. As I have ombre my hair at the ends can get very dry and using a masque can really help.

I know this is a new type of post as it is very beauty based but I have really wanted to start doing more posts like this. I haven’t posted in a while and I wanted to do something new and exciting, also you may find it interesting and helpful for some new recommendations. If you enjoyed the post please leave a comment below! Love Phoebe Eve <3

Weird Questions Tag!

Hey! So I watched a few YouTube videos and found the ‘Weird Questions Tag’ which I really found interesting and wanted to do for you all! Read away and maybe you’ll realize how much of a true loon I am!

1.       What's a nickname only your family calls you?

Phoebus, which is from the film The Hunchback of Notre Dame, the guy who ends up with Esmeralda. The only problem is with the name, its caught on to my friends and now teachers.

2.       What's a weird habit of yours?

I have to have all my pens facing the same way and have all my stationary placed in the correct places.

3.       Do you have any weird phobias?

I am actually really scared of clowns and castles, only the creepy type of castles where ghosts go to live. So if any of you have been to Alton Towers and gone on the ride Hex, add in some clowns and it’s my worst nightmare.

4.        What's a song you secretly love to blast & belt out when you're alone?

Mirrors by Justin Timberlake

Someone like You by Adele

5.       What's one of your biggest pet peeves?

When someone sings a song I love and know really well and they get the lyrics wrong and also being spoken to like I’m stupid which is annoying when they are talking to me about something I do actually have a good knowledge of.

6.       What's one of your nervous habits?

When I get nervous I tend to just continue to talk as much as possible at a very fast pace, this is usually called babbling which I am rather good at when I get nervous.

7.       What side of the bed do you sleep on?

I have a single bed, but I usually sleep on the left.

8.       What were your first stuffed animal & its name?

My first stuffed animal was a little bunny rabbit which was also my mum’s first ever stuffed animal and I think I gave it a very clever name ‘bunny’.

9.       What's the drink you always order at Starbucks?

I don’t go to Starbucks but we have a machine at school and I usually get mocha but if I am out I tend to get tea with one sugar and milk.

10.   What's the beauty rule you preach, but never actually practice?

I know it’s good but I can never be bothered to deep cleanse my face to remove all my make-up and then wash and use a moisturizer which is basically a night time routine.

11.   Which way do you face in the shower?

Away from the water, looking straight at the wall opposite

12.   Do you have any weird body 'skills?

I can move my ears without touching them, that’s about it; I do wish I had more skills to share.

13.   What's your favourite comfort food that’s 'bad' but you love to eat it anyways?

Chocolate, it’s just too good to say know to! But don’t even get me started on ice-cream, especially when its haagen dazs.

14.   What's a phrase or exclamation you always say?

‘Quick Question’ ‘Alrighty ’

15.   Time to sleep!! What are you actually wearing?

Probably an old t-shirt and some shorts, I would like to have some nice pajamas though with some cool patterns, the best ones I have are where’s wally ones but let me tell you Wally is in a rather awkward place…

I hope you enjoyed this post and I hope to see you at the next one! Love you Phoebe Eve <3

Confidence.

So recently I was inspired by something I heard from a friend that is “I wish I could have the attitude I had when I was younger about my body because when we get older we become more conscious and obsessed with our bodies and looks. But when you were a kid you didn’t care and wore and did whatever you wanted to”. This is something I really do agree with, I wish I could have the confidence and care-free attitude I had when I was younger.

I think the media is one of the main problems, every day we see photos of ‘the perfect body’ and articles on ‘how to slim down’. The true fact is, there isn’t a perfect body. It’s just all crap the media feeds us, wanting us to buy the next issue so we can learn how to get models bodies. But even I know and realise that it is crap, I am still immersed by it all. We are forced to compare ourselves to others and see who has the best abs, ass, boobs, legs, stomach, hair, face, nose, arms, the list goes on. The worst part about it all is that it actually has a true effect on us and how we view ourselves. The pictures put into the media are ALL photo shopped and airbrushed, so the model or person in the photo doesn’t even look like that in real life. I know that the world won’t change and we will always be surrounded by this. We just need to try and change our attitudes.

Recently I haven’t been the happiest with myself as I compare myself to others very easily, I see them and how they have a thigh gap and a flat stomach you could do your school work on and for some reason I then just feel like shit about myself. So, I want to take a new attitude to my confidence in how I look. I don’t mean that suddenly I am going on a huge, stupid diet where all I eat is dust for three days or I am going to become cocky.

I just don’t want to be defined by that number that’s on my clothes or the amount of cake I eat or how much exercise I do and that I don’t do 100 squats and sit up’s a day. I am who I am. Screw the media with their fake ideas of ‘perfection’ NO ONE IS PERFECT. I am sure I will have days where I feel groggy and unattractive, everyone does. But I want to try and just think if I look good then who cares what size I am? With my diet I am just going to try and keep crappy foods to a minimum and just have some fruit instead, it’s not hard.  My plan here isn’t to lose weight or change myself, it’s just to make me feel good, which is how everyone should feel. I don’t want to sound cheesy but the fact is that, everyone is beautiful, we deny it, but we all are. So if someone compliments you, say thank you! Cherish that compliment and keep it in your pocket for a rainy day!

I am in no way telling you to change yourself, just your attitude, which is unless you are already happy with yourself and feel confident and if so good for you! I just think we should all embrace who we are; we are all individuals with lots of different things to offer the world. Spend a bit more time pampering yourself and just chilling out and having a nice cup of tea, look in the mirror in the morning and say “I look good”. One day, you won’t need to say it, you’ll know it.

Thank you if you got this far into the post, I just wanted to have a little rant at how crappy the media is for making up this idea of ‘perfection’. I love you all, speak soon, Phoebe Eve <3

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Hello! So I have decided to do a short but sweet book review, I hope you enjoy it as I love reading and would like to do more of these type of blogs. I am sure you have heard of ‘Perks’ and you may have read it or seen it at the cinema. The film stars Logan Lerman, Emma Watson and Ezra Miller who all capture the characters perfectly. I personally loved the film and I thought it was brilliantly put together and I found the character Charlie very relatable. It also made me want to feel infinite and to always surround myself with people that make me happy like Sam and Patrick make Charlie feel.

  I read the book during my holiday and I actually felt it was better than the film even though I watch it religiously. The film did leave out a few parts of the book and I actually really enjoyed reading the ‘unseen’ parts to Charlie’s story. I know that a film wouldn’t be able to capture every detail of a book but I don’t feel the essence of the book was lost at all.

  The book also made me learn that during your teenage years you have to ‘participate’, enjoy your adolescence and screw the people who say you’re a teacher’s pet or think that your just plain weird. I think we should all learn to embrace our quirks no matter how crazy they may be. The book and film are brilliant and even my grandparents have watched it, they loved it so much they have also read the book, which shows that it’s not just for teenagers. Hope to speak soon, hope your summer has been wonderful! Love Phoebe Eve

Summer Look Book

Hello! Welcome back and I really hope you enjoy this post as it is out of my comfort zone, but I really would like to explore more into fashion. I personally love having an insight into people’s styles and looking at the different outfits they put together and it really inspires me. Two trends I have really enjoyed experimenting with and styling are crop tops and monochrome. Zoeey Deschanel really stands out for me as she is always in keeping with a feminine yet modern style which is also similar to Zoella who keeps things very cute and classic but has great pops of colour, making her truly stand out. Another YouTuber that inspires me is Clothes Encounters as she is just so daring with all her outfits and really knows how to experiment. Now, here is my style so enjoy!



Top - New Look
Shorts - River Island
Flip Flops - Accessorise
Bag - Primark
Necklace - Gift

The first outfit is very simple but I think very cute, the two clashing patterns of the crop top and bag work really nicely together and I feel that the bleached shorts bring it all together. I have accessorised with a simple necklace given to me as a gift from my friend, it’s a little message in a bottle which says ‘all you need is love, trust and fairy dust’. I think it’s a really cute outfit which is perfect for the beach or one of those rare sunny days during the English summer.



Dress - H&M
Belt - Forever21
Bag - Boutique
Shoes - Primark
Earrings - River Island

My second outfit features monochrome and how I prefer to style it, with a dash of colour. I chose the daisy earrings to give it a more summery feel as well as the bag I chose which uses a hessian material. I also wanted to keep it light and feminine so I chose to use a coral belt with a bow to make the dress more interesting. The dress also works well with tights on colder days and I would like to perhaps use some neon’s to make the outfit more exciting.

                          

Bag - Boutique

Top - New Look

Skirt - Topshop

Earrings - Forever 21

Sunglasses - New Look

Shoes - H&M

Number three! When I went shopping I had decided to choose something bright and bold, different to what I would usually pick up. So when I saw the top in new look with the bright pink flowers I knew I needed to add it into my wardrobe for summer. I am also a big fan of the skater skirt; it’s a great staple to have in your wardrobe and flatters pretty much all figures.

                         

Dress - Forever21

Necklace - Forever 21

Sunglasses - New Look

Shoes - New Look

 

The final outfit is my personal favourite, especially pairing the dress with a statement necklace. I love big necklaces and dressing up, by pairing it with makes me feel so much more confident as I am only 5,4 I do enjoy the extra height.  You could always dress it down and wear flats but I really enjoy making it more formal.

Please comment below if you enjoyed this post and if you would like to see more in future, and tell me whose style inspires you! Love, Phoebe Eve <3

I hope you had the time of your life

Hello! I apologize again for my awful blogging skills as I never stick to a schedule, but whilst I have been on holiday I have been working on lots of new posts for you all to enjoy! Sadly I didn’t have the wonderful invention of the internet while I was away so I was unable to upload. I have been experimenting with things like fashion and book reviews so look forward to that!

The quote I have chosen is from a green day song called ‘Good Riddance’. It made me think about summer and what it means to me, I really just want to have as much fun as I possibly can. As I only have one year left at school with my beautiful and crazy friends I want to document each moment. So, I have decided to take my camera with me whenever I am doing something exciting and at the end of summer get them developed.  Then I can make up a little scrapbook and look over them and just remember all the amazing times I have had.

Summer is my favourite time of the year other than Christmas but summer is just so easy and you have no stress because school is gone! Plus after the past few months I have been through I need a stress free and fun summer. Also the lie-ins have to be one of the nicest parts, catching up on some well-deserved rest. The only thing I am failing to find is my summer song, I have listened to the radio a lot recently but I can’t seem to find it.

  So what are your summer plans? Long lazy days doing nothing but chilling? Or going out with friends? I like to have a mixture personally, let me know in the comments below! Hope you’re having an amazing summer I shall be back soon, Love Phoebe Eve <3

Guess who's back?

Hello, I know it has been a rather long time and there is no excuse as I do love writing these blogs but I have been so busy! But good news is that I am starting to achieve the goals I set myself in my ‘The Future’ post, so that is brilliant news. I have had a few struggles over the past few weeks but I have learnt they will only make you stronger as a person, so I have held my head high.

  I have actually started to go out of my comfort zone, clothes wise, so I have started buying crop tops which for me is actually rather scary. I have never been happy with my stomach so wearing a crop top was a bit odd but wearing it with high waisted things such as skater skirts and high waisted shorts they can look really nice. So I was thinking why don’t I start doing some fashion blogs? Just simple outfit of the days and saying where I got things from, I have just started to find my true style and from inspirations such as Zoella, Zooey Dechanel and Emma Watson. I have a massive love for all things girly and feminine but I also love the edgy look too so I have been trying to mix them together. Maybe I haven’t been doing this successfully but I like to think I am finally finding my own style, but I am still a sucker for a good dress and heels.

  What I am trying to say is that I will still continue writing about how quotes inspire me and all the different things I enjoy but I want to perhaps add fashion into this too! Plus I know on YouTube tag videos are constantly going around, so I was thinking of doing some of them on here too so you can learn a bit more about me really. Have a wonderful day enjoy the sunshine and I shall be back with a more fashion or personal post in a few days! Love Phoebe Eve <3

Believe In Yourself

Hello, just wanted to put in an extra little post this week, thought I would treat my lovely readers! Also because this quote is something I always preach but never actually do, I should learn to take my own advice really. But as my anxiety has been getting the better of me and really brining me down recently and I find believing in myself is one of the hardest challenges to face.

  I am surrounded by supportive and amazing people who believe in me and always compliment me, which is so lovely to hear. I just don’t seem to grasp it all, I listen, I smile, it even makes my day, but I still can’t believe it. From my anxiety I have sadly begun to doubt myself, weather I can get the grades, or I’m a good enough friend to those around me. I understand how important it is to believe in yourself but it’s harder than it sounds. If you read my last blog post you will see I have set up some goals for myself, which is all to boost my confidence. Through sharing my passions and showing people what I can achieve, makes me believe my future plans are achievable. I have even set myself up for a rather scary step, which if it goes well I shall share with you, for now it’s a little secret.

  I want my confidence back and I feel by achieving the mini goals I set myself in my last blog post I can be back to my positive and happy self again. What I have learnt recently is that things take time and sadly I have no fairy godmother who can wave her wand, or a crab called Sebastian who can show me the way (Little Mermaid reference). I know now achieving the goal to self-belief is something I have to do on my own, but I’m going to try my hardest to do it. Thank you again for reading my ramblings, I love you all, see you soon! Phoebe Eve <3

The Future

Hello hello hello! So I am now seventeen which is rather awesome but also rather scary, knowing I only have one year left at school. It only hit me a few days after my birthday, which was lovely and I was surrounded by friends and family; the day included lots of shopping, cake and cat cards. I am just going to say a massive thank you to all of my friends and family who made it special because I had such a magical two days!

  Now back to the future, a few days after my birthday I came to realise I only have one year left with my friends at my school. I still have some time left at school as I have finally finished exams but we have to go back to start our second year of alevels. But thinking that there is only one year left, scares me. I know what I want to do after school which is such a great thing to know as a lot of my friends don’t, so I am lucky in that respect. It’s just knowing that all the amazing people I am surrounded by every day, won’t be there in a year’s time.

 

  Growing up is a part of life and it has to be done but the past few months I have truly learnt who are my best friends and who can support me through anything. But knowing that I won’t be surrounded by them in a year is rather unsettling. I have never been a person who is shy and finds it hard to settle in to a new environment, but I don’t really want to grow up yet. When I get to that stage it will be amazing and I will find new friends it’s just that it has always been years away and now it’s getting closer.

  Focusing on the year ahead is going to be the most important step so I have decided to set myself some goals to achieve over the next year, including the summer holidays, I shall list them below:

   1.   Create a showcase to show off the awesome drama talent at my school and use this event to raise money for charity.

   2.       Go and see more shows and get involved with a drama community in my area for further experience on my CV.

  3.       Have as much fun as possible with my friends and take photos or mementos of really great days that I can then put together into a book to look back on in future.

  If you are in a similar position as me and you are coming up to the last year of alevels or gcses or anything really, then make a list like me and comment them below so I can see them all! Love, Phoebe Eve <3

Make It Mine

Hello, I am back to my cheery and glass-half-full self now but I hope you enjoyed my more personal blog last week. It wasn’t the easiest blog to write but after learning that so many others have experienced anxiety and panic attacks it made me feel a lot better about things. As I have finished the glorious times of exams and revision I have two whole weeks to have fun with my friends. So I have planned something for every day and I have so much to look forward to.

  Plus I have decided to do something very out of character and join a gym, which if you know me sounds completely crazy. This is due to the fact I will find as many excuses as possible not to work out and not to exercise. But a local gym had a free weekend so me and my friend went to check it out. It was amazing. I have never thought gyms could be enjoyable, but I tried out loads of equipment, including a thing that vibrated when you stood on it… yeah I didn’t use that for long. Overall my trip was very enjoyable and I really want to join over the summer as I just think it would be fun. I mean it would be nice to just tone up a bit and be able to run a few meters without falling to the floor, gasping for air.

  Now, on to the chosen quote, this week is from a Jason Mraz song called ‘Make It Mine’ and it is such a happy and upbeat song I felt it deserved a post. After the horrible time I had during my exams, I just want to have fun and laugh with my friends. They as I have mentioned are the best things in my life, as well as family, and I just need to spend as much time with them as I can before we have to go back to school. So my next two weeks consist of laughs, fun and birthday cake, as it is my birthday soon!!

  I want to get out of this horrible habit I seem have to adopted recently of worrying about every little thing. So by going out and being around the ones I love I feel like I can achieve this and I will make it all mine. Also I have been listening to a lot of hairspray recently as I love the musical and have played Tracy once; I had to wear a fat suit and everything! Looking back I did look ridiculous but performing is the best thing for my confidence, to show others that I am talented and play a pretty good Tracy Turnblad, haha! But hearing all the songs again made me a little emotional because they carry a lot of memories for me. Especially ‘Welcome To The 60’s’ as its mine and my mums song that we dance to in the kitchen.

 

 

  Thinking back to performing has made me more driven to get my school to put on a showcase, I need to perform and get my confidence back. I’m sure you have one of those things that gives you butterflies in your stomach, just by thinking about it. Performing is mine. As I step onto the stage the lights are shining a down on me, so bright that I can only see the front row of the audience and feeling waves of adrenalin whenever the audience laugh.  Describing the feeling you get after performing, knowing you’ve done well, is so hard to explain but all I can say is nothing compares to it.

  Please comment below telling me all about what you want to make your own and what the one thing that makes you feel infinite is! I’ll be interested to hear, thank you for reading my about my crazy aspirations and let me know all about yours. If like me you haven’t had the opportunity to do the things you love then make it happen and make it yours. Love Phoebe Eve <3

Everyone Needs A Floor They Can Fall Through

Hello, Welcome back happy campers, or if you have never stumbled across my blog then welcome. Usually I am a very chipper and cheerful person but I wanted to be a bit deeper and show you a different side to me I guess. The quote is from a song written by Pink called The Great Escape. “Everyone Needs A Floor They Can Fall Through” Which is true, sometimes even if you’re the happiest person ever you need times where you can be vulnerable and emotional.

   Recently, I have been more emotional than usual mainly due to the pressures I put on myself to achieve as high as possible. This is mainly due to school and the way everyone seems to think that you have to go to university and achieve the highest possible grade, or someone else will take your place. To be honest I am one of these people, I easily worry about things like getting into university or drama school. I know that the competition is fierce and grades are important, which is why I pressure myself so much. The problem is all the pressure causes stress and anxiety, something I haven’t experienced until very recently. Although sometimes all the pressure does become a bit too hard to handle and cause me to panic.

   I begin to think of all the work I have ahead and it becomes a massive pile that grows bigger and bigger. But even though this is scary and a horrible thing to experience, everyone has floors they need to fall through and times they lose control. I have learnt from talking to friends, family and reading other blog posts that it’s ok. Everyone has something that can cause them to panic, lose control and become vulnerable.  The past few weeks for me have been challenging but with the support I have had from my friends and family, I know that I can overcome this.

  Apologies for being away for so long, but as well as stress I have been really ill too, which sucks but I am back for good.  I know all my exams are tough and need a lot of revision but I know that all I can do is my best.  My friends have been the most supportive people recently and I couldn’t ask for any better, plus my family have done everything possible to stop me panicking. I hope they understand just how much they have helped me, even if I have taken the pressure out on them at times.

 

Having a floor to fall through is letting yourself be completely vulnerable around someone and them allowing you to release all your emotions. To me that’s how I look at things and having someone there who cares and loves you is the most important thing. Of course suffering with anxiety or panic attacks will make your loved ones worry but at the end of the day they just care for you. I originally worried about others worrying about me and not wanting to cause any concern. But if someone cares they will worry it’s just how things go.

  Overall, the past month has been really tough but I know that my closest friends and family have helped me through. Plus Zoella posted a video and a blog post I have read and watched and I realised there are much more people who have suffered with the same problem. Knowing you’re not alone in that situation helps because feeling like the minority and not ‘normal’ (a term I use loosely) is a really horrible feeling. If you know someone with the problem or have experienced it yourself then do not allow it to get in the way of you doing anything. I know after one of my episodes I didn’t want to go back into the same place where it had happened. But by overcoming that fear it gave me a sense of relief and was a good step to take.  Next post I will be back to my chipper and cheerful self, its ok not to be happy every minute of every day.

Just make the most of what you have, Love Phoebe Eve <3