Guess who's back?

Hello, I know it has been a rather long time and there is no excuse as I do love writing these blogs but I have been so busy! But good news is that I am starting to achieve the goals I set myself in my ‘The Future’ post, so that is brilliant news. I have had a few struggles over the past few weeks but I have learnt they will only make you stronger as a person, so I have held my head high.

  I have actually started to go out of my comfort zone, clothes wise, so I have started buying crop tops which for me is actually rather scary. I have never been happy with my stomach so wearing a crop top was a bit odd but wearing it with high waisted things such as skater skirts and high waisted shorts they can look really nice. So I was thinking why don’t I start doing some fashion blogs? Just simple outfit of the days and saying where I got things from, I have just started to find my true style and from inspirations such as Zoella, Zooey Dechanel and Emma Watson. I have a massive love for all things girly and feminine but I also love the edgy look too so I have been trying to mix them together. Maybe I haven’t been doing this successfully but I like to think I am finally finding my own style, but I am still a sucker for a good dress and heels.

  What I am trying to say is that I will still continue writing about how quotes inspire me and all the different things I enjoy but I want to perhaps add fashion into this too! Plus I know on YouTube tag videos are constantly going around, so I was thinking of doing some of them on here too so you can learn a bit more about me really. Have a wonderful day enjoy the sunshine and I shall be back with a more fashion or personal post in a few days! Love Phoebe Eve <3

Believe In Yourself

Hello, just wanted to put in an extra little post this week, thought I would treat my lovely readers! Also because this quote is something I always preach but never actually do, I should learn to take my own advice really. But as my anxiety has been getting the better of me and really brining me down recently and I find believing in myself is one of the hardest challenges to face.

  I am surrounded by supportive and amazing people who believe in me and always compliment me, which is so lovely to hear. I just don’t seem to grasp it all, I listen, I smile, it even makes my day, but I still can’t believe it. From my anxiety I have sadly begun to doubt myself, weather I can get the grades, or I’m a good enough friend to those around me. I understand how important it is to believe in yourself but it’s harder than it sounds. If you read my last blog post you will see I have set up some goals for myself, which is all to boost my confidence. Through sharing my passions and showing people what I can achieve, makes me believe my future plans are achievable. I have even set myself up for a rather scary step, which if it goes well I shall share with you, for now it’s a little secret.

  I want my confidence back and I feel by achieving the mini goals I set myself in my last blog post I can be back to my positive and happy self again. What I have learnt recently is that things take time and sadly I have no fairy godmother who can wave her wand, or a crab called Sebastian who can show me the way (Little Mermaid reference). I know now achieving the goal to self-belief is something I have to do on my own, but I’m going to try my hardest to do it. Thank you again for reading my ramblings, I love you all, see you soon! Phoebe Eve <3

The Future

Hello hello hello! So I am now seventeen which is rather awesome but also rather scary, knowing I only have one year left at school. It only hit me a few days after my birthday, which was lovely and I was surrounded by friends and family; the day included lots of shopping, cake and cat cards. I am just going to say a massive thank you to all of my friends and family who made it special because I had such a magical two days!

  Now back to the future, a few days after my birthday I came to realise I only have one year left with my friends at my school. I still have some time left at school as I have finally finished exams but we have to go back to start our second year of alevels. But thinking that there is only one year left, scares me. I know what I want to do after school which is such a great thing to know as a lot of my friends don’t, so I am lucky in that respect. It’s just knowing that all the amazing people I am surrounded by every day, won’t be there in a year’s time.

 

  Growing up is a part of life and it has to be done but the past few months I have truly learnt who are my best friends and who can support me through anything. But knowing that I won’t be surrounded by them in a year is rather unsettling. I have never been a person who is shy and finds it hard to settle in to a new environment, but I don’t really want to grow up yet. When I get to that stage it will be amazing and I will find new friends it’s just that it has always been years away and now it’s getting closer.

  Focusing on the year ahead is going to be the most important step so I have decided to set myself some goals to achieve over the next year, including the summer holidays, I shall list them below:

   1.   Create a showcase to show off the awesome drama talent at my school and use this event to raise money for charity.

   2.       Go and see more shows and get involved with a drama community in my area for further experience on my CV.

  3.       Have as much fun as possible with my friends and take photos or mementos of really great days that I can then put together into a book to look back on in future.

  If you are in a similar position as me and you are coming up to the last year of alevels or gcses or anything really, then make a list like me and comment them below so I can see them all! Love, Phoebe Eve <3

Make It Mine

Hello, I am back to my cheery and glass-half-full self now but I hope you enjoyed my more personal blog last week. It wasn’t the easiest blog to write but after learning that so many others have experienced anxiety and panic attacks it made me feel a lot better about things. As I have finished the glorious times of exams and revision I have two whole weeks to have fun with my friends. So I have planned something for every day and I have so much to look forward to.

  Plus I have decided to do something very out of character and join a gym, which if you know me sounds completely crazy. This is due to the fact I will find as many excuses as possible not to work out and not to exercise. But a local gym had a free weekend so me and my friend went to check it out. It was amazing. I have never thought gyms could be enjoyable, but I tried out loads of equipment, including a thing that vibrated when you stood on it… yeah I didn’t use that for long. Overall my trip was very enjoyable and I really want to join over the summer as I just think it would be fun. I mean it would be nice to just tone up a bit and be able to run a few meters without falling to the floor, gasping for air.

  Now, on to the chosen quote, this week is from a Jason Mraz song called ‘Make It Mine’ and it is such a happy and upbeat song I felt it deserved a post. After the horrible time I had during my exams, I just want to have fun and laugh with my friends. They as I have mentioned are the best things in my life, as well as family, and I just need to spend as much time with them as I can before we have to go back to school. So my next two weeks consist of laughs, fun and birthday cake, as it is my birthday soon!!

  I want to get out of this horrible habit I seem have to adopted recently of worrying about every little thing. So by going out and being around the ones I love I feel like I can achieve this and I will make it all mine. Also I have been listening to a lot of hairspray recently as I love the musical and have played Tracy once; I had to wear a fat suit and everything! Looking back I did look ridiculous but performing is the best thing for my confidence, to show others that I am talented and play a pretty good Tracy Turnblad, haha! But hearing all the songs again made me a little emotional because they carry a lot of memories for me. Especially ‘Welcome To The 60’s’ as its mine and my mums song that we dance to in the kitchen.

 

 

  Thinking back to performing has made me more driven to get my school to put on a showcase, I need to perform and get my confidence back. I’m sure you have one of those things that gives you butterflies in your stomach, just by thinking about it. Performing is mine. As I step onto the stage the lights are shining a down on me, so bright that I can only see the front row of the audience and feeling waves of adrenalin whenever the audience laugh.  Describing the feeling you get after performing, knowing you’ve done well, is so hard to explain but all I can say is nothing compares to it.

  Please comment below telling me all about what you want to make your own and what the one thing that makes you feel infinite is! I’ll be interested to hear, thank you for reading my about my crazy aspirations and let me know all about yours. If like me you haven’t had the opportunity to do the things you love then make it happen and make it yours. Love Phoebe Eve <3

Everyone Needs A Floor They Can Fall Through

Hello, Welcome back happy campers, or if you have never stumbled across my blog then welcome. Usually I am a very chipper and cheerful person but I wanted to be a bit deeper and show you a different side to me I guess. The quote is from a song written by Pink called The Great Escape. “Everyone Needs A Floor They Can Fall Through” Which is true, sometimes even if you’re the happiest person ever you need times where you can be vulnerable and emotional.

   Recently, I have been more emotional than usual mainly due to the pressures I put on myself to achieve as high as possible. This is mainly due to school and the way everyone seems to think that you have to go to university and achieve the highest possible grade, or someone else will take your place. To be honest I am one of these people, I easily worry about things like getting into university or drama school. I know that the competition is fierce and grades are important, which is why I pressure myself so much. The problem is all the pressure causes stress and anxiety, something I haven’t experienced until very recently. Although sometimes all the pressure does become a bit too hard to handle and cause me to panic.

   I begin to think of all the work I have ahead and it becomes a massive pile that grows bigger and bigger. But even though this is scary and a horrible thing to experience, everyone has floors they need to fall through and times they lose control. I have learnt from talking to friends, family and reading other blog posts that it’s ok. Everyone has something that can cause them to panic, lose control and become vulnerable.  The past few weeks for me have been challenging but with the support I have had from my friends and family, I know that I can overcome this.

  Apologies for being away for so long, but as well as stress I have been really ill too, which sucks but I am back for good.  I know all my exams are tough and need a lot of revision but I know that all I can do is my best.  My friends have been the most supportive people recently and I couldn’t ask for any better, plus my family have done everything possible to stop me panicking. I hope they understand just how much they have helped me, even if I have taken the pressure out on them at times.

 

Having a floor to fall through is letting yourself be completely vulnerable around someone and them allowing you to release all your emotions. To me that’s how I look at things and having someone there who cares and loves you is the most important thing. Of course suffering with anxiety or panic attacks will make your loved ones worry but at the end of the day they just care for you. I originally worried about others worrying about me and not wanting to cause any concern. But if someone cares they will worry it’s just how things go.

  Overall, the past month has been really tough but I know that my closest friends and family have helped me through. Plus Zoella posted a video and a blog post I have read and watched and I realised there are much more people who have suffered with the same problem. Knowing you’re not alone in that situation helps because feeling like the minority and not ‘normal’ (a term I use loosely) is a really horrible feeling. If you know someone with the problem or have experienced it yourself then do not allow it to get in the way of you doing anything. I know after one of my episodes I didn’t want to go back into the same place where it had happened. But by overcoming that fear it gave me a sense of relief and was a good step to take.  Next post I will be back to my chipper and cheerful self, its ok not to be happy every minute of every day.

Just make the most of what you have, Love Phoebe Eve <3

Just Be You

Hello again, I know this post is a bit later than usual but school is kind of crazy at the moment, which I am not using as an excuse just something I wanted to inform you of. I’m sure if you have read some of my previous posts you would understand that my posts tend to revolve around a quote that has inspired me. This posts quote is ‘Just Be You’ which is something that I have always heard people talk about. I used to zone out and not really consider the importance of being myself; I knew I never pretended to be someone else just because of who I was around.

  Being you is a scary thing and finding the right people to be yourself around is even harder, if anyone knows that it’s me.  I have changed group multiple times for a lot of different reasons form moving schools to disagreements. I’m happy that I have had to experience this because I have really learnt from my decisions. This is a part of life everyone has to go through, if you are on this journey, please do whatever makes you happy. It can be difficult if moving friendship groups mean you leave a lot of friends behind who, have changed and you can't see the friend that they used to be.  But people grow apart and develop as individuals. Meeting new people and friends is a part of growing up.

  Going back to the quote ‘Just Be You’ one of the challenges you need to face is being happy with who you are.  Confidence is a hard one to conquer but I finally got a sprinkle J This was due to many reasons but surrounding myself with people who made me feel special was the most important part. When you find someone who makes you feel amazing and loved, don’t let them go. This person (or a collection of people) can be a friend, family member or a significant other but whoever they are hold on to them.

  By keeping these special people in my life close it really allowed me to open up and talk to people about my feelings and troubles. One of my closest friends was someone I never even knew until one day she was sitting on her own in my GCSE music class. Since we started talking we clicked straight the way, she was someone I could tell anything too and trust indefinitely. Even though we never were part of the same group, her friendship to me meant the world.  Another close friend was someone I had been to school with for years but never really spoken with. We both instantly clicked and now all three of us are so close it makes me happy every time I see them, I just hope they understand how much they mean to me. Over these past three years in particular, friendship means more to me than it ever has. When you face a challenge in life, the friends who are always there for you and provide the ice cream are your true friends. Of course the ice cream isn’t vital but as a girl who has faced these challenges it always helps.

  When you find your true friends, most of mine I have bonded with due to classes and similar passions. It makes you feel happier and more confident in who you are; I think it’s the acceptance of being completely vulnerable around these people. I am personally a very emotional person which my friends will know well. I get way too nervous for things and panic when things aren’t organised. But I have people around me who support me to no end which allows me to cry if I need to and be a complete loon I can be.

 

  There is one last person who has really changed who I am for the better over the past six months or so. I’m not going to go all soppy and lovey dovey about it all, but he’s my best friend and someone I can be vulnerable around whenever I need to be. I know people debate about love and how I may be too young to know what it is. But I love him, no matter what anyone says or thinks, it’s true he is my first love.

 The one message I hope you took from this was that being yourself is scary, but finding the right people who bring out the best in you is the most important step to take. So find them and never, ever let go.

I hope you enjoyed reading this and I shall post again next week, no excuses this time. Bye for now, Love Phoebe Eve <3

Aim for the moon because even if you fall, you'll land among the stars

Hello Welcome back to my little blog I hope you enjoyed my first one I am really getting into using the memory jar. I am rather excited to open it and see all these memories from over the year that I experienced. Also today is April 1^st and I have taken my first photo of a cake that I baked for my family, I thought it was worth a little snap. Sadly I haven’t taken part in any April fools, I may have to plan one for later. One last thing before we crack on, happy easter! I hope yours was as lovely as mine.



One of my earlier Easter gifts

  Now onto my new subject for my new post, I have been thinking about how to start theming these posts and a special someone came up with the idea to use a different quote every week for my theme. Which I thought was brilliant, as long as it’s a quote that affects me and perhaps inspires me in some way. This week’s quote is in the photo below ‘Aim for the moon because even if you fall, you’ll land among the stars’.

 

  The reason this quote really sticks out to me is because it gives me faith that anything is possible as long as you aim high. I have very high aspirations which I think is a very good thing; even though I may be told that they are unachievable, I stick to my guns. Over the past year I have grown as a person, changed friendship groups and have finally become happy with who I truly am. I always felt that drama was an escape but it helped me become more confident. There is nothing better than hearing the audience applaud after a performance especially if it’s one you created.

   One genre of drama that I was always jealous that my cousin would do seamlessly was comedy; he is very natural with various accents and can play the most hilarious yet convincing old man I have ever seen someone do. But looniness aside, it always came very naturally to him and one day he asked me why I seemed so funny outside of class and then when it came to class I would hide away. As soon as I was told this I decided to really go for things more and I appreciate him saying it to me because I feel like I can now make others laugh with my complete weirdness. When we were told to experiment with Bercovian theatre (Stephen Berkoff style performance) I really broke out of my little box and just thought, I may look completely insane but I should try it anyway. It turns out I am rather convincing as inanimate objects, as Bercovian theatre includes actors playing objects. I had to play a lamppost, washing machine, a saloon style door and many more. From finally breaking from my shell I honestly feel that I can accomplish my dreams of becoming a professional actor.

I know it’s a hard choice and isn’t easy, but why should I stop before I have even attempted my dreams? That’s why I don’t understand negative people, of course I am not always jumping up and down with positivity, especially when I have just realised it’s a Monday. I like many others am not a fan of those mornings. But we get on with it and find the best in every day; well at least I try to. I hear people say that it’s a pipe dream and the competition is hard but what if the ‘competition’ is actually not that scary and maybe, a very big maybe, I can beat them.  This quote really inspires me to not only keep a hold of my big aspirations, wishes and dreams but also spurs me on for everyday life. I want to keep pushing myself for something that is bigger than me, I really would love it if in some way, shape or form I inspired someone. If I could touch inspire someone to try something they haven’t or to follow their dreams that would be amazing. I feel blessed and inspired by a lot of people and I think from surrounding myself with great friends and a pretty awesome guy who makes me feel special every day, my dreams can become a reality.

   I am going to stop myself rambling on because I do have infinite babbling abilities. I hope you enjoyed this and it made you happy or made you feel like your dreams no matter what they are or how small and large they may seem are achievable. So go for it and I wish you luck!

Bye for now, love,

Phoebe Eve J <3