I have so far been awful at this whole blogging thing but at some point I will write a post a week and I will have a day where my posts go up and everything will be fabulous. But I haven't posted because I haven't really felt like myself.
There is just something I want to discuss really. I know I don't have a crazy comments section or that many people reading due to my lack of posts and my lack of continuity. But either way this is where I like to put my feelings. I read Girl Online by Zoella in the week and it's made me realize how wonderful the blogging world can be. I understand that it is fictional, it just made me feel like I could perhaps post something a little less chipper than usual.
Sometimes I am a complete and utter idiot. I do things and say things that I know are out of line and I know can perhaps push people away and anger them but I say or do them anyway. I just don't understand why. I seem to do it particularly to those closest to me, pushing them away and being occasionally offensive in some ways.
The last thing I would want to do is loose these people or see them hurt by anyone, especially if I am causing the upset or hurt. Perhaps it is because I love these people so much that I know they can take it and still stick by me. But it is no excuse to treat a person like that.
Don't get me wrong I also love to show the ones I love how much I love them through little surprises and maybe baking them something I know they enjoy. On the whole I am like that about ninety percent of the time. However this little stupid ten percent comes out and causes chaos. I just want to know that other people behave like this too sometimes. I am sure I won't have an answer as to why I do it but I just want to know I am not completely insane.
Thank you for reading my random ramblings and please comment if you do something similar, I would appreciate it immensely. I will be back to my chipper self soon I promise.
Love,
Phoebe Eve
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